


The Real Boss

by KuriQuinn



Series: Poor Judgement & Associated Adventures [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Kakashi is so done, why do so many people want to be hokage anyway?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-23 12:23:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11402343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KuriQuinn/pseuds/KuriQuinn
Summary: Behind every great Kage is a partner that doesn't bother with the bull$#!%.





	The Real Boss

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:**  This story utilises characters, situations and premises that are copyright Masashi Kishimoto, Shueisha, Shonen Jump and Viz media. No infringement on their respective copyrights pertaining to episodes, novelisations, comics or short stories is intended by KuriQuinn in any way, shape or form. This fan-oriented story is written solely for the author's own amusement and the entertainment of the readers. It is not for profit. Any resemblance to real organizations, institutions, products or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
> 
> **All plot and Original Characters except for those introduced in the canon books, manga, video games, novelizations and anime, are the sole creation of KuriQuinn. (© KuriQuinn 2016- )**
> 
> **Rating:** **T**
> 
> **Warning:** Mild OOC? They’re characters that grew up differently than the canon, so a little bit of change in personality. **There is are OCs in this fic (Manako Inuzuka and Kakashi’s children).** Don’t like it, don’t read (but I’ve had pretty positive feedback about them, so your loss).
> 
> **Canon/Fanon Compliance:** AU ‘verse. Sasuke left Konoha, but he came back right away or right after training or something. Team 7 went on to become ANBU

Kakashi arrives home three hours later than he usually does, retinas bloodshot and eyelids drooping. His jaw feels numb from the amount of times he had to clench his teeth today, and his arms might as well be lead weights for all the use they provide.

He doesn't bother using the door—the window's always open anyway—and when he gets inside, he barely gets a chance to note the room is empty of either expected occupant before he topples face first onto the futon. It's his default position these days, but it doesn't even matter because  _being horizontal feels so good…_

Until something nudges him in the back.

He groans, either a complaint or a request to stop, but it doesn't help. Again, he is poked, this time near his ribs, and he sighs, forcing himself to turn over on his back and glower (well, he tries to, anyway, his facial muscles aren't exactly cooperating) at the offending toe, and the woman it is attached to.

His partner stares down at him, one eyebrow quirked in either amusement or concern. She is unselfconsciously nude but for a pair of boxers—his, he's pretty sure—and her dark hair haphazardly tied out of the reach of grabby fingers. The tiny pink lump of their youngest son is nestled into the crook of her neck.

"Are you alive?" she asks him, voice low so as not to wake Obito.

"No," he mumbles.

"Great, I get all your worldly possessions then," she says, nimbly climbing over him.

"You're heartless."

"No, I'm practical. I have four mouths to feed."

"Gai doesn't live here."

" _Three_  mouths to feed," she corrects, leaning over using one hand to help him remove his thick vest. Then, she arranges the baby on Kakashi's chest. In spite of his heavy arms, he reaches up to keep the infant steady.

"Any trouble getting him to go down?" he asks, wishing he could have been home in time to put his children to bed.

"With this one?" she snorts. "I think he'd sleep all day if it weren't for the other two poking and prodding him at all waking hours. I had to bring  _them_  to one of the training grounds and let them run back and forth after each other until they passed out."

"Trade you…"

"For what, extra paperwork?"

"Yes."

"Not a chance in hell," she tells him unabashedly.

"Heh. That's what I figured."

She slowly peels his mask from his face, and the cool night hair hits his skin. "Isn't Shizune supposed to have all that organized for you?"

"She did. But there were…complications."

Manako snorts knowingly. "What did your three brats do this time?"

She likes to joke that his former genin team are his "other" family and she's their wicked stepmother. Which usually has him making some cheese remark about how 'wicked' she can be, and her to complain that his attempts at innuendo are horrible, before going on to prove his exact point.

At least, that's how it used to go. There's been a lot less of that since he became Hokage.

Naruto needs to hurry up and take over this stupid job.

"It's a long story," he says eventually, deciding his brain can't take thinking of his former genins' antics anymore today.

"Those three are about as subtle as a sock and a brick," Manako informs him with a shake of the head. "How the hell did they ever qualify for ANBU?" Kakashi's cheeks flood with colour and he busies himself with admiring his son's downy hair; Obito is the only one of their kids that takes after Manako's looks. His partner makes a  _tch_  noise. "Let me rephrase my question: how did someone with such horrible judgement as you have ever become Hokage?"

"How did a miserable shrew like you become a Hokage's wife?" he counters.

"Fake wife. I'm pretty sure there was alcohol involved," she tells him seriously. "And maybe a trip to Tanzaku Town. I don't really remember."

"You and me both…"

"Either way, it's not legally binding. I can leave you anytime."

"Really."

"Yes. I just happen to like living in sin," she teases. "It gives the old gossips something to talk about, and pisses off all the traditionalists because their  _revered_  Hokage has a dirty mistress."

"Whatever would I do without you to keep me grounded," Kakashi deadpans.

"Exactly. "So. Should I be preparing the village's explosive stocks for impending war with Kiri?"

"No. They fixed it in the end, but…" He trails off and sighs. "I had to fire them."

" _Again!?"_

Her exclamation makes Obito stir, grumbling in his sleep and pressing his cheek more closely into his father's chest. Kakashi takes a moment to observe him, a smile playing at his lips, and doesn't answer. Manako allows him this, and for a spell they just sit in silence.

She breaks it, however, with another snort. "Well, maybe this time you'll learn your lesson."

"Learn my—" Kakashi cuts himself off and shoots her a sharp look. "What's that supposed to mean?  _They're_  the ones that have to get it together."

"No, Scarecrow, that'd be you,"

He's too tired to follow his partner's usual complex thought processes. "Explain."

"You basically have a group of teenagers that have already surpassed the Konoha's Legendary Sannin—teenagers whose judgement is worse than yours  _and_  affected by stuff like hormones," she reminds him. "And, on top of that, unlike their predecessors, your brats really took that bell-test thing to heart. They  _really_  do believe that the three of them are one. And while that makes them strong, it also makes them dangerous and irrational in the lengths they'll go to keep each other safe. Not exactly best suited for wimpy ANBU missions."

"ANBU is wimpy now?" he prompts, amused and grateful for her candour.

"You know what I mean. Stealth isn't something they do well, unless you split them up; otherwise, they just feed off each other. Sasuke and Naruto still compete as much as they ever did when they were kids, only now they can level an entire mountain fighting it out and Sakura can do that by herself. And other than that, she's the boss—the guys will never do anything against her wishes. Sasuke would burn down the world if something happened to the other two, and Naruto would probably let himself be flayed alive to ensure nothing  _did_. And you're too damn blinded by how much you love them that you're trying to keep them close," she concludes, and her expression softens a bit. "They're adults now, babe. They can function outside of their little three-man squad. It doesn't mean they're going to get too old for you."

And, as usual, somehow his partner has hit the heart of the matter. He doesn't feel like admitting it, though.

"Alright then,  _Oh Wise One_ ," he drawls, "what would you suggest?"

"Leave stealth to Sasuke, diplomacy to Sakura and have Naruto keep the home front safe. He's got to get used to staying behind anyway once he takes over from you."

"Assuming he doesn't get himself killed before then," Kakashi sighs. "Are you  _sure_  you don't want to be Hokage? You'd be better at it."

"Are you kidding? And give up my carefree life of spit-up and runny diapers?" Manako gasps in mock horror. "I couldn't  _possibly_  trade that in for hours of paper work and sitting in a chair…" She adopts a smug smile. "At least I still get to blow things up occasionally."

Kakashi scowls. "You know, for a fake wife, you're not great at offering comfort. I should just drown my cares in alcohol."

"Careful. That kind of thinking is what landed you with a fake wife in the first place."

"Don't remind me," he says lightly. "Times like this, I think I ended up with the wrong Inuzuka."

"Well, Kiba doesn't swing that way, and honestly, you never had a chance with Hana. She'd insist on you put a ring on it," Manako says easily. "Besides, she has something I don't."

"What's that?"

"Standards," she replies, leaning over him and kissing him lightly.

She begins to pull away, but Kakashi wrangles his free hand upward, tangling it in her hair and keeping her close. She makes a surprised noise, which turns into amused approval as he deepens the kiss, tugging at her bottom lip until she allows his tongue entrance.

Despite his exhaustion, he thinks he might actually be able to summon some energy for  _this_ , but then Manako pulls away.

"I've got to put him in his bassinet," she reminds Kakashi when he makes a noise of protest, and then lifts the tiny body off his chest. There's logic in this, he knows, but he wishes she'd hurry up about it.

It appears his mental demands are to go unanswered, when she straightens up and pauses.

"Hold that thought," she groans. "I think one of our monsters climbed out of his crib."

He doesn't question her; her hearing is better than any baby monitor.

"I thought you said you tired them out," Kakashi grumbles.

"Demons don't tire out, they just bide their time," Manako says seriously, climbing off the bed and heading out of the room.

Kakashi sighs at his ceiling, wondering when this became his life.

And thanking whatever gods exist that it did.

終わり

**Author's Note:**

> _Comments and constructive criticism are always welcome! I'm only able to keep writing as I do thanks to the encouragement of readers like you, so every bit of support helps! And be sure to check out my tumblr (Typewriter Ninjutsu) for content you won't necessarily find on this site._
> 
> **栗**


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